“I think they should make a sub of Subway smells because everything else in there just gives you the shits...i've inventoried it before, and i took it home and took the whole thing apart and go OK..Bread-that's not bad all by itself...Peppers-alright that's not bad.oh good lettuce-cool...onions-Well there ya go Onions, oh ham-cool......but somehow together that much health just rips the ASS open!!!! I'm stickin to Dominoes..i'll just roll it up and make my own sub"

"I'll tell you why I love reeses pieces...heres whats fun to do...its not even about the flavor as much as it is about taking just one piece and standing it up between your teeth right here and coming down on it straight and feeling it just give...I don't know what it is, its like animalistic...its like the part of my brain that isn't being used for like opening up melons and things on the beach, you know what I mean?...its like primal.."

Don't get defensive of your pizza...I understand...it's when you get away from the slices that the real shit starts happening....Geez I've had the slices enough, I think I'll go for the veal cutlet...NO NO NO"

 

"I've realized you can use a fork as a spoon if you use it rapidly enough."

"I love coconut, because when you think you're done eating coconut, 25 minutes later, a little piece of coconut comes out of the back of your mouth, and then you say, "Hey! It's more coconut!" I think any food with that kind of determination needs a little respect"

 

"Buttered Popcorn Jelly Belly gives me hope for many other things in life, because if you can make a jelly bean that tastes like popcorn and doesn't get stuck in your throat, I think we can make wheelchairs a thing of the past. I think we can turn wheelchairs into bar carts."

"like I want Lucky Charms with all marshmallows. Just sell me the marshmallows, or give me like an oat sifter. Give me a Lucky Charms sifter. Throw the whole box in there, shake it down, all the oats fall down into a bowl, put that back in the box, and just take all the marshmallows out. I'm the kind of person who would take the marshmallows out of the cereal."